Day 71 : It's a TRAAAP!

Saturday. The best day of the week. I’m going to ruin it slightly and get the Space Noob in trouble.

Owing to some serious scientific investigation of a new theory of economics ( see day 70 ) I start the day feeling a little off colour. With the experiment a success though I can slack off for a while and do something mindlessly easy from my TODO list. I fly down to Clenninon and run the Career tutorial missions again. Its easy to roll through them without thinking too much. Its even easier with the new drop down menu on screen detailing options for the missions I am currently on. I run the missions in tandem as much as I can, only accepting one mission at once but keeping them all at around the same stage. This means they work together, Business complements Industry, Military complements Advanced Military. The first time around I didn’t do this, I ran one chain at once right to the end, missing several key concepts explained in the others. That resulted in me getting my ass handed to me on a plate at the end of Day One. It’s good to see I was right about the strategy of running them in sync. If you see a noob running them, warn them about it.

I avoid the Exploration tutorial because I actually NEED to do that again. Exploration, like PVP, is one of those parts of the game where you need to develop actual skills rather than just rely on your characters skills. Speaking of PVP.

Jax and Robbo are online and we decide that it is high time we go shopping for trouble. Spanish is busy investigating Ice Mining (and surprise, surprise, finding out it is useless without setting up the skill queue for a month), so it’s just three fools heading off into the low sec black.

Before I get into this, let me state that even the most experienced noob can fall into a trap.

                                      

I gear up the Pale Horse as a tackling scout, Robbo comes along as spotter flying something cloaky, and Jax comes along as the artillery. Jax is flying something so expensive it makes my head hurt even more to think about it.

RULE 1 OF NOOB PVP : do not plan to go looking for a scrap after drinking beer that comes with tequila automatically put in it.

We end up in a quiet low sec system and find a couple of pilots who hurriedly vacate the area when we arrive. A couple of minutes later one returns and begins scouting the area. Jax, our most experienced pilot stars trying to determine where he is based using Dscan. Rob checks the stations and then takes up an observation point cloaked on their entrance gate. I begin zooming from point to point because a) I want to shake up any pattern the scout has and really b) I’m too hungover to think clearly.

I catch the scout on a gate but he vanishes as I get there. Rob is sure he is cloaked and hasn’t warped. All this running around has annoyed me and sent a lot of blood rushing to my damaged brain. At this point I’m going to fire first and regret the security status loss later. So I don’t think “what the hell is an Atron doing running around with a cloak on?” which is what I should have been thinking.  

RULE 2 OF NOOB PVP : Do not PANIC

The call comes in from Rob that the Atron is on the gate. Jax turns up just in time and sets drones on him as I’m flying in. From my warp in point I manage to be in range quickly, slapping a web and a warp scrambler on him so he can’t get away. Jax moves in for the kill and I’m too high on hungover adrenaline to pay attention which is why I don’t have a clue how Jax just exploded. Did the gate guns get him? He fired first and I webbed which means we are both criminals and the automatic defences of the local stargate are going to open fire. I have sense enough to press F1 to set my own tiny guns blazing and finish off the Atron. Now I need to get out of here and think about what is going on. If I can think. I am shaking so much I probably look out of focus.

RULE 3 OF NOOB PVP : When ignoring RULE 2 do NOT warp to the last thing you bookmarked. It is NOT your safe point.

Hastily I warp to my pre-prepared safe point and start the calming down process and try to figure out what happened. This is when my ship starts screaming at me as my shields are reduced to nothing in a couple of seconds, then my armour, and I don’t even notice the hull go. What the hell? In the midst of panic I’d warped to my last bookmark instead of my safe point. My last bookmark was where I thought the Atron had cloaked. Just off a gate. So I made the kill, dodged the gate gun reprisal and then thoughtlessly warped straight into the fire of another set of gate guns. Nice one Space Noob. Class.

RULE 4 OF NOOB PVP : Despite being lured into a trap, blown up by your own stupidity, having to warp home in a capsule : enjoy that grin on your face.

I’m gutted for Jax who lost his astoundingly expensive gun platform but what the hell happened? It was a trap. As we locked and chased the Atron across the face of the gate a Myrmidon class BattleCruiser appeared out of the gate and shot Jax to hell. I’d taken the scout and got away only to commit gate gun suicide. It was a trap and a well laid one. Noob PVPers getting so enraged by the zipping around of the scout that we not only engaged first, taking a security hit, but also never considered WHY the scout was doing it.

I’m laughing as I warp home in my pod. What else can you do? Its a learning process. We got a good taste of low sec PVP, and a good story - ganked or not. We had a good time working as a group, finding out how these things go and running afoul a plan we might be able to duplicate. Next time I’ll consider the situation more carefully. I’ll hone my Dscan skills, I’ll watch my bookmarks, I’ll not fly with a headache that even a greasy breakfast and a bottle of Irn Bru couldn’t shift.

Apologies to Jax for the lost of an expensive ship. You signed up with the Noob Crew!

Thanks to the German Army Aviation Corps (there's a phrase I never thought I’d say) for a well laid trap.

Apologies to Rob for not getting in on the measly little kill, but thanks for the observation work.

I start to gear up a replacement set of new ships designed just for this. I’m having another go as soon as I can.

I talked the other day about what I’m reading. I’m reminded of another book that might be relevant to PVP. They say "never judge a book by its cover" but this one has a useful message on it.

I now go to the land of sitting on my bed drinking hair of the dog beer, since none of the usual cures worked, where I will do nothing for a few hours but watch the first four episodes of Falling Skies. 

The shine is later taken off the day when I hear of the death of Neil Armstrong. A self confessed nerd who went to space for real. Someone I think all EVE players respected and admired. A hero of mine. o7 Mr Armstrong. Fly safe.